Everyday. Every night. Every second of my mind he was always there (hmm, my ex). But that was before.
When we broke up, I tried to think what was wrong with me and what did I do wrong. I acted like I was the reason behind and took all the blame. I cried all the tears I had and forced myself to forget him. I decided that I will let go of him and will never ask him to come back.
But letting go is not as easy as that. It is not an overnight process. It takes time because our heart needs time to heal and no one knows when would that be.
But how did I finally let go of him?
Actually, I don’t know why this time, it is him that is in my mind. Suddenly, I found myself having a hard time to sleep again, and ooops! its him.
Anyway, can you guess how long had passed from the time we broke up?
2 years. And so far, he’s the only boyfriend yet. It was hard for me to let go of him because he was my 1st and for the record, he was the one who broke up with me. ouch! Haha!
Okay, back to topic. How did I let go.
1.I took all the remembrance away.
-It helped me to not to remember memories we shared on a particular thing.
2. I deactivated my facebook account.
– I didn’t have the urge of re-reading our messages and re-browsing our pictures. I was able to escape questions from people as well. I just needed to fight the temptation of activating it again. yaiks!
3. I kept the closeness with friends tighter.
-Someone who will listen is very crucial in the process of moving on. Someone who’ll understand and will pick you up again.
4. I read journals and blogs about letting go.
-It helped me realize that other’s love story is much complicated than mine, so if they were able to let go, then I can do it as well.
All of these were very helpful for me, but at the end of the day when I’m all alone laying in bed, there was still one place that no matter what I do, I can never take away the memories in. My mind. So what I did was just cry. Yeah, I did not stop myself from crying. Days and nights and months, I let myself like that. I think it took more or less a year.
Until one day came, I felt that I can see him again without feeling the pain. I opened my facebook and looked at everything we had.
Gosh, time really heals everything. All the pain was gone and I thought I can open my heart again to someone.
That’s it! I just let time handle the pain I had and of course I asked God to heal me; as usual, He did not betray me.